Real talk: Chastity

Hey guys, today’s post is about chastity, kind of touchy a subject but guess we just got to talk about it. Chastity in simple terms is abstinence from sexual relations or in the words of a popular Nigerian classic; ‘if you love me, you go wait for me.’ Let’s be real here, not all Nigerian teens are chaste, because one has attained the age of puberty with the features very obvious doesn’t mean a teenager is free to live an adult kind of life.
It’s just sad when you hear of an 18 year old fathering or mothering a child – that’s pretty much a child becoming a parent, forget legalities – when at that age such a person is supposed to be planning for the future and how to get ahead in life– right?? I know teenage is a very shaky period of human development when silly ideas can occupy our minds and peers don’t equally help matters – I’m a teenager too– but that doesn’t mean you should fall headlong, hook, line and sinker for any lie, dare or pressure that comes your way. For me, once you can stand your grounds as a teenager i.e. your no’s are no’s and yes, yes then pressures in early adulthood wouldn’t be so much to struggle with.
The truth from my point of view is, not just girls are meant to be chaste as our society subtly suggests (since little is said about the virginity of boys), boys are to be chaste as well. If boys are chaste and older men are sensible then, teenage pregnancy and motherhood wouldn’t be so much of an issue since there’s no one to complement the act. I’d say one of the reasons for unchastity with teens is lack of priorities, if you have a vision for yourself in the next five years after leaving secondary school, I’m pretty sure having a child wouldn’t be on that list. As someone rightly said, ‘something you do that you can’t boldly explain to someone, don’t bother do it.’ at the moment, it may seem cool to you that you have a boyfriend with whom you are probably intimate with but on the long run, is it really cool??
Another factor that promotes unchastity is our media- yes, I said it- our media promotes unchastity in the sense that baby mamas and children born out of wedlock are celebrated especially those of celebrities/public figures. I’m not saying such a child should be rejected, definitely not because a child is a gift from God but neither should they be celebrated like it’s something okay to do, some frail minded teenagers may end up seeing it as a way to go. I know this may sound funny but our value, cultural and moral system is quite different from that of the American movies that we watch where thirteen year old could have a boyfriend or girlfriend – guess I need not say more.
My closing note is this; to my dear teenage girls, think with your heads and learn to search the words of people (guys) around you for falsity and lies because when something goes wrong, you are going to bear it all. To my surest teen boys, being unchaste doesn’t make you a man same as smoking or drinking, it may make you look like a ‘guy’ before you friends but being a man isn’t a measure of how many girls have laid in your bed but what the works of your hand have to show.
Would have said parents should engage their children/teenagers in chats but not sure if a parent is reading this. Finally, sometimes last year I was listening to a show on radio and the question posed was: “If you could advise you 20-year old self what would you say” and quite a number of ladies that called said: “face your studies/books and close your legs”. I may have sounded kind of harsh today but I just don’t want you to fall into the category of people that would wish to give such advice to their younger selves. Thanks for reading this.